Can we talk about birthday party goodie bags for a moment?
Here are the bullet points of today's
rant/lecture:
- Every adult hates them
The host
adult has carefully and thoughtfully designing a parting gift that stayed true
to the "theme" of the party, spending time and money planning,
creating, and assembling that she would, frankly, rather spend hanging out with
her kids or upgrading her Netflix and watching tv.
Or she freaked out at the last minute, raced to the party
supply store, nearly mowed down an elderly lady coming out of Bed, Bath and
Beyond with a cart full of scented candles, and spent a ton of money on junk
the "kids" are just going to throw away.
The recipient adult (who is probably someone you
know and like) now has a bag of trash, candy, and non-working flotsam to secret
away from her child, who could not possibly part with that novelty eraser that
only smears every pencil mark it comes into contact with. Thank you for
giving my kid one more thing to talk to her therapist about.
- They create a culture of consumerism and
entitlement
Kids don't need it, they basically just had the
equivalent of a kegger with a giant costumed mouse presiding, that they
contributed nothing NOTHING to. They should be giving YOU a gift! Oh, wait.
They did give your kid gifts.
But they expect it now. And it better be good.
I have actually heard 2nd graders comparing notes over past party bags. I
have heard kids complain about the gift they were just given for coming to a
friends party. Stop paying off my kid.
You know what my kid needs to get for coming to
your kid's party? A high five and a thank you note. They are a huge waste
of resources
- They are a huge waste of resources
No one wants to spend their time and money on
something that will go unnoticed, unused and unloved. Spend it on wine
and an HBOGo subscription.
We collectively are filling our world with
trash. Please stop. Stop buying it and companies will stop making it.
- They highlight 'have vs. have not'
Not all parents can afford to do this.
Just like santa can't seem to afford to leave my kid an ipad, 'Beats' headphones,
and a guitar. (Side note: I'd really appreciate it if you'd stop doing
that, Santa)
My kid once received a parting "goodie
bag" with the exact same craft kit that we had given to the birthday girl.
(for the record, I have a $15 rule, unless you are related by blood or the one
and only BFF, for whom I bump it to $25) So. Um. That's embarrassing. For
both of us. My kid was MORTIFIED. She was 5. That's right, even a 5 year
old gets it.
Now, for the record, I have been, in the past
guilty of getting caught up in this. Here are some of the things we've
given as party favors in the past:
- Rainbow Fairy and Magic Treehouse Books
- Lego mini-figs
- Pool noodles
- Helium balloons (in a fit of panic when I realized I left the glow sticks at home)
- Mini-pumpkins the kids had painted
- Copies of Leonardo and the Terrible Monster by Mo Willems
However, for the past several birthdays, we have
skipped it. And do you know what? I was thanked.
By multiple parents.
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