She has an eleven year old son who notices and analyses everything he sees and hears. This naturally leads to LOTS of uncomfortable conversations between them and even more uncomfortable retellings to unsuspecting family members by him. If your kids' Grandma needs to know what "that swallows!" means, he's your guy.
I love every conversation we have, she is a fantastic source of calm, rational, thoughtful advice which I frequently seek out. I am pretty sure her boy has exercised those brain muscles for her extensively from the moment he was able to talk. And she is not at all timid about asking for advice or even just confirmation of her sanity.
She called today with this conundrum: She was at Barnes and Noble to get get a book for her niece. While waiting to check out she noticed that B&N has recently changed it's placement of Playboy magazine to the racks in front of the cashiers. This policy change is, of course, tied to Playboy no longer featuring nudes.
However.
This month's cover she found to be not something she would like to have to explain to her 11 year old son, who would, 100 per cent for sure ask about. It's at his eye level.
She called to ask me if she was crazy to feel this way about it. So I pulled up the cover image.
Playboy. A Magazine for Men, March 2016
HOLY CRAP.
So clearly, she's clothed. But she can't be 2 days over 18. She could certainly pass for 14. She is posing so that photo appears to be a selfie (she'd have to have gorilla arms AND a selfie stick for that to be the case, but that detailed observation probably takes more brain power than those who purchase this mag are using) and the text banner across the lower third implies that this a selfie she has texted to someone.
So my issue isn't the bra and panties, it's the implication that this is what girls do for boys. That boys can expect girls to take and text sexualized photos of themselves.
I'm neither a prude nor naive, I know girls do this. I also know they don't need to see this cover image to get the idea. Long ago, at the beginning of digital time, I did it. I don't think girls should be shamed or punished for it, but that's a different post altogether.
However.
I find the idea that my daughter might see this graphic and draw the conclusion that boys are expecting, or worse, deserve photos like this sliding across their screens.
Seeing this at such a vanilla establishment as B&N makes it seem as though sexting photos of herself to her latest crush is just a basic level of communication needed to hold his attention.
How about my son?
I would never ever want him to feel as though he has a right to see a classmate's personal photos like this. This is completely acceptable in a committed relationship, but never will he deserve or have a right to it.
I don't want to fall into the rabbit hole here, but this expectation of access to women's bodies is the tiny seed of school and workplace sexual harassment.
It strikes me that individual Barnes and Noble shouldn't be forced into displaying it at my kids' eye level. Yes, Yes. They (currently) are. Corporate has decided to let Playboy pay for premium placement, the same way sugary cereals pay to placed on the shelf where your kid will see them. And individual stores have no say. Or at least that's what the manager told my friend when she voiced her concern.
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