"I know you came out last christmas and just a few months ago, but your mom isn't at her best, and I'm really not sure how much longer she'll be fun for."My mother-in-law is a lovely lady; super smart, family lawyer, world traveler, interested in politics and life, worked with BigBrothers/ BigSisters for years as BigSister. But she is in the early stages of dementia. She has coped pretty well for a few years now, but its pretty obvious things are getting worse.
So we came.
I'll admit to being pretty bummed and a bit resentful. We have some very fun traditions for our "at home" years: we have a big tree trimming party with as many friends as we can cram into the house, people from all of our various circles, I bake and bake and bake and there's the shelf elf craziness and gingerbread house building... and we are going to miss it all, again. Just not having a christmas tree in the house is a huge disappointment. As it is, I only get to unpack our family's ornaments once every two years. Without a tree in the house, December is just sad. Coming out to California means skipping all of that, plus the aggravating logistics of buying gifts and traveling and staying in a space that is not our own (my in-laws are wonderfully hospitable, but it's hard to keep three kids occupied for three weeks in a house that isn't their own). Then there's the difficulty of getting everything back across the country. These are the years I demand all the kids' gifts have to be smaller than a shoe box and weigh less than 2 pounds. Which never works, by the way. We've shipped giant wooden trucks and carefully wrapped and packed completed lego builds, we've crammed giant stuffed animals and double boxed cases of wine glasses (those were not the kids').
My Father-in-law was right, she was worse, just since the summer.
To the point that my husband asked me about a seemingly pie-in-the-sky idea, that we pack up and move across the country. He wasn't happy with his job, the school itself was falling into financial mess and things were not looking good for any employee. His dad could clearly use more family around and Steve wanted to be a support for him.
"Yes"I said yes. How could I say anything else?
